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Crib of Madness!

At 4:08 this morning I awoke to see my wife sitting up in bed listening intently. I began to listen and heard music coming from the baby's room. I thought to myself, then said aloud, "He has learned to press the buttons on the turtle, or he kicked them with his feet."

We groggily went into the baby's room to investigate. The turtle was still and silent, the boy asleep, but his mobile was spinning and playing music. While a spinning mobile is nothing to get excited about, you should realize that this mobile only plays and spins if it has been wound. It then plays until it completely unwinds. Suddenly we were in a state of terror the likes of which I had never felt before. I told my wife to stay in the baby's room while I searched the house. I started with the closet in the baby's room. Next my study, empty, but there I picked up a hammer. Room by room I searched: all rooms empty, all doors locked, nothing out of place. Puzzled I returned to the baby's room. We decided that it was one of three possibilities: 1) The mobile at some point had become stuck, and chose that time to become unstuck, 2) a psychopath had a key to our house, unlocked the door, went directly to our babies room in pitch black, wound the mobile, left, and locked the door behind him, 3) we had a ghost.

We took the boy into our bed for the rest of the night, and slept unsoundly. The next morning in the light of day we felt a little silly and realized that the mobile had just become stuck. There were several times in the past when you would bump it, and it would play a few more notes.

Only later in the day did I really look closely at the mobile and realize the truth. This mobile has iconography of Cthulhu. Obviously cultist are distributing these mobiles to unsuspecting parents, and using some sort of subtle mind control over the babies to make the babies become cultist in the future, or something far worse. We are throwing away the mobile, and changing the locks on our doors!


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 20th, 2007 05:19 am (UTC)
Surely Cthulhu iconography is perfect for a baby's crib! Remember, "Cthulhu fhtagn" translates as something like "Cthulhu lies dreaming." Its a sort of lullaby.
Aug. 20th, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Cthulhu
Aug. 20th, 2007 12:58 pm (UTC)
You forgot the forth and most likely cause: your child is telekinetic.
Aug. 20th, 2007 04:02 pm (UTC)
I thought about that, but he was sound asleep.
Aug. 20th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC)
It is common knowledge that telekinesis in infants usually first manifests itself during sleep.
Aug. 20th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
I thought he would be pulling bottles to him, not moving them mobile.
Aug. 20th, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC)
Maybe he has mastered rotational motion, but is still working on linear motion? Or maybe he doesn't like what you guys are feeding him? Have any bottles mysteriously exploded or disappeared recently?
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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